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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays online shopping becomes more popular than in-store shopping Is it a positive or a negative development?

#development
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Nowadays people are more creative and innovative in making life easy.As technology evolves individuals make use of it,one example is online shopping.Access to order basic
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 can be done at home.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it has a positive and negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development. Purchasing a dress,food and even a brand new car can be made
thru
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.Different varieties of online shopping are shown in
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 you can order a dress thru amazon without going to the branch of
store
Add an article
the store
show examples
 and be
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 right away on your doorstep.Placing
Add an article
an order
show examples
order
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
show examples
 in a flatform like
this
Linking Words
 could
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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 and can save money and time.When
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
 shock the world online shopping
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 popular,being safe is one of the priorities at home.Mall owners are summoned by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to downsize customers going to
Add an article
the mall
a mall
show examples
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
in store
Add a hyphen
in-store
show examples
 shopping can be more selective and
qualititave
Correct your spelling
qualitative
 in nature.As a
customer
Add a comma
,customer
show examples
 our main objective is to purchase
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
quality goods and can be used in
longterm
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 buying a dress in-store shopping,you have a choice of checking the size the
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 and the quality of materials used.Purchasing a car in a physical store and having a
Correct your spelling
road test
show examples
roadtest
Correct your spelling
road test
show examples
 can be more
realible
Correct your spelling
reliable
. In my conclusion both of them has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 and negative effect
such
Linking Words
 as online shopping can bring comfort and safety
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the customer but negative on the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
 that quality and choices
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 being risk
likewise
Linking Words
 on in-store shopping.
Submitted by monsale1978 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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