IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

It is better for companies to help their workers feel happy at work rather than put lots of pressure on them for the sake of profit. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that companies should create a comfortable ambience for their
employees
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of pressuring them to do well for the business's benefit. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, making
employees
Use synonyms
 happy will help them become more productive. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that office pressures often cause a certain amount of
stress
Use synonyms
 for
employees
Use synonyms
, which makes them mentally constrained and reduces their concentration.
Conversely
Linking Words
, when
employees
Use synonyms
 are happy, their
stress
Use synonyms
 levels will be reduced. Having a workspace where
employees
Use synonyms
 feel safe, and comfortable and can manage their
stress
Use synonyms
 will lead to higher productivity and efficiency.
According to
Linking Words
 a scientific study, 'happier' companies outperform their competitors by 20% because their
employees
Use synonyms
 are more likely to get things done.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, happiness is associated with creativity and innovation. Happy
employees
Use synonyms
 may feel more confident in their abilities, be willing to admit mistakes, and continually try different ways of working.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may suggest or try new tactics to bring better results to the company.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, putting pressure on workers does not seem to be better than helping them feel happy. Studies show that unhappy
employees
Use synonyms
 are more likely to shut down certain brain functions that are used to gather information and prepare for combat when under
stress
Use synonyms
.
Employees
Use synonyms
 are less likely to think creatively, connect emotionally to their work, and feel good about themselves.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
stress
Use synonyms
 can worsen employee health and cause them to fail to perform their jobs, rather than benefiting the company. In conclusion, keeping
employees
Use synonyms
 happy can increase the company rather than burdening them. Companies need to create a comfortable environment that makes
employees
Use synonyms
 feel like they are at work and increases productivity.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding a brief counterargument to show you have considered both sides of the issue. This can add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sections are internally cohesive by using varied cohesive devices to link ideas together smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
Main points are thoroughly supported with solid reasoning and relevant examples, such as the scientific study mentioned.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents logical progression of ideas, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: