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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is better for companies to help their workers feel happy at work rather than put lots of pressure on them for the sake of profit. Do you agree or disagree?

#companies #workers #work #lots #pressure #sake #profit
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It is believed that companies should create a comfortable ambience for their
employees
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instead
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 of pressuring them to do well for the business's benefit. I strongly agree with
this
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 opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, making
employees
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 happy will help them become more productive. The reason for
this
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 is that office pressures often cause a certain amount of
stress
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 for
employees
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, which makes them mentally constrained and reduces their concentration.
Conversely
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, when
employees
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 are happy, their
stress
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 levels will be reduced. Having a workspace where
employees
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 feel safe, and comfortable and can manage their
stress
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 will lead to higher productivity and efficiency.
According to
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 a scientific study, 'happier' companies outperform their competitors by 20% because their
employees
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 are more likely to get things done.
Furthermore
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, happiness is associated with creativity and innovation. Happy
employees
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 may feel more confident in their abilities, be willing to admit mistakes, and continually try different ways of working.
As a result
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, they may suggest or try new tactics to bring better results to the company.
On the other hand
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, putting pressure on workers does not seem to be better than helping them feel happy. Studies show that unhappy
employees
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 are more likely to shut down certain brain functions that are used to gather information and prepare for combat when under
stress
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.
Employees
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 are less likely to think creatively, connect emotionally to their work, and feel good about themselves.
Consequently
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,
stress
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 can worsen employee health and cause them to fail to perform their jobs, rather than benefiting the company. In conclusion, keeping
employees
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 happy can increase the company rather than burdening them. Companies need to create a comfortable environment that makes
employees
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 feel like they are at work and increases productivity.
Submitted by nguyenminhan.headoflion on

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task achievement
Consider adding a brief counterargument to show you have considered both sides of the issue. This can add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sections are internally cohesive by using varied cohesive devices to link ideas together smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
Main points are thoroughly supported with solid reasoning and relevant examples, such as the scientific study mentioned.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents logical progression of ideas, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
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