IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Cultures around the world today are more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#cultures #world #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, more and more attention has been placed on the opinion that cultural similarity
increasingly
Add a missing verb
has increasingly
show examples
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 popular around the globe. There are some possible reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, and I believe that
this
Linking Words
 tendency is an advantage.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some compelling reasons can be seen for homogeneity in culture.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is an increasing number of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 who tend to visit foreign
countries
Use synonyms
, which leads to the
cultures
Use synonyms
 of
countries
Use synonyms
 becoming alike. Indeed,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 becomes much easier, which causes culture exchanges, bringing new
cultures
Use synonyms
 and absorbing native
cultures
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, technological breakouts, especially in
information
Use synonyms
 technology
such
Linking Words
 as Internet access speed improving quickly, leads to cultural
information
Use synonyms
 becoming more popular. To be more specific, easier Internet access makes connections between multi-
cultures
Use synonyms
 where the Internet users get to know the cultural
information
Use synonyms
 via media channels
such
Linking Words
 as Youtube, Facebook, and Televisions. Take my father as an example, he stays at home but could know the famous traditional foods of Korea via browsing Facebook every day. In my opinion, I believe that cultural homogeneity of
countries
Use synonyms
 around the world is beneficial, which affects both
business
Use synonyms
 and society fields. Regarding
business
Use synonyms
, the similarities promote job opportunities for developing
countries
Use synonyms
. In fact, international companies could expand their
business
Use synonyms
 by opening new branches in developing
countries
Use synonyms
 because local workers could understand
Correct article usage
the behaviors
show examples
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
 of mother companies. Take Apple as an example, they open AppStore branches in big cities in Vietnam and rent local representatives who could understand
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
 culture in order to create an effective comprehension between local customers and products from the foreign company. In terms of entire societies around the globe, due to understanding
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and mindsets of different
cultures
Use synonyms
, people in the whole world could sympathize and understand feelings together. For
further
Linking Words
 explanation, similar thinking could make people who work and live in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 easily eat the same foods and wear the same clothes.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they could feel closer and do not face obstacles in foreign nations. In conclusion, cultural similarities becoming popular are the result of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 habits and evolution in
information
Use synonyms
 technology in
this
Linking Words
 modern life, and I would argue that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive impact because it generates job opportunities and makes people in the world feel sympathy and closer.
Submitted by thieuanhvan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: