IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future all cars, buses, trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, we can see that the automation revolution has been applied successfully in many industrial sectors, and transportation will be one of them.
Then
, public vehicles without drivers will be an important consideration that can bring us many benefits against the traditional modes.
First,
we can see that if the buses or trains are provided with driving automation devices, the labour cost will reduced significantly, and personal senses or attitudes will be avoided too. The reason is the cost of automatic devices will be cheaper
day
 by
day
, leading many businesses can afford to do that
instead
 of recruiting too much staff.
Also
 managing the staff sometimes relates too much to personal ideas, which are leading too many unnecessary debates.
Secondly
, it is known that the productivity of providing automatic tools on vehicles will improve significantly. The system can program and the time management must be accurate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that the traffic jam would be mitigated as an example of benefit.
Besides
 the advantages points,
also
 there are drawbacks we can be aware of,
such
 as the risks of program malfunction, or the behaviour of people we do not know.
However
, I trust that those drawback points can be solved by the ability of self-learning tools of AI.
In addition
, citizens
day
 by
day
 will become more educated and more respectful of the laws or regulations. So
overall
, it believes that as a trend of social development, driverless- especially for the public transportation sector- will be becoming more and more popular, and it shall be replacing the traditional mode soon.
This
 will bring more benefits and help us to have a better life.
Submitted by nelson311974 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your task achievement, consider providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific studies or real-world instances of where driverless technology has been implemented successfully.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your coherence and cohesion by ensuring that your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Use transitional phrases more frequently to link your points together more effectively.
task achievement
You could strengthen your argument by further explaining how AI can mitigate the risks associated with driverless technology, providing a more detailed counterargument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in comprehending your main points effectively.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to cover both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, showing a balanced perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your argument that driverless vehicles will provide significant benefits.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: