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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that it is the responsibility of individuals to save money for their own care after they retire. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #responsibility #individuals #money #care
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An often-debated topic is whether it is the responsibility of others to financially
support
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 elderly
people
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 or individuals themselves should have saved money for their retirement. In my opinion, being a farsighted person is very crucial in
this
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 society.
However
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, governments and other community members should
also
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 give a hand in
this
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 regard to elderly
people
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. In the following paragraphs, I would justify my
support
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 in
this
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 regard. Back
then
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 it was a convention that the
last
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-born son should stay with his family after marriage. He was responsible for the financial
support
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 of the family, and his wife was responsible for doing chores and taking care of other family members.
As a result
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, nobody was concerned about their future. But the situation has been changing differently, and today, children become self-centred. They do not want to sacrifice their comfort for taking care of their parents. So, for
this
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 reason,
people
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 should be concerned about their forthcoming and try not to be dependent on others. Looking forward to financially help from governments
also
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 should not make a person close their eyes to the reality due to the fact that the situation and legislation of a country are always changing so no one knows what going to happen in the future.
On the other hand
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, governments should invest more in practices that are helpful for the aged population. Some basic amenities could be free for them to make sure they could survive without any other income. We should not forget that elderly
people
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 were a fruitful tree for our society some days, and try to
support
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 them in all aspects to make their lives convenient. To conclude, considering a part of the income as saving for the future could be a rational step.
However
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, the government
also
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 has its own responsibility regarded to
this
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 matter.
Submitted by behnaz.babayani on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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