IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many governments think that economics progress is there most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In many countries, governments prioritize economic
progress
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 as their primary goal.
However
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, some people believe that other aspects,
such
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 as
healthcare
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 and
education
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, are equally important for a nation's
development
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion.
To begin
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 with, economic
progress
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 plays a crucial role in a country's growth. A strong economy allows the government to generate higher tax revenues, which can be reinvested in infrastructure, public services, and national
development
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.
For example
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, countries with robust economies can afford to build better roads, housing, and public facilities, thereby improving citizens’ quality of life.
Additionally
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, economic success attracts foreign investment and creates employment opportunities,
further
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 boosting national prosperity.
However
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, economic growth alone does not guarantee
overall
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 well-being, as other factors
also
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 contribute to a nation’s
progress
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.
On the other hand
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, social
progress
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, particularly in
healthcare
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 and
education
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, is equally vital for a country's long-term success. In developed nations, where financial stability is already achieved, the government prioritizes
healthcare
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, ensuring that citizens have access to quality medical services. A healthier population leads to increased productivity and a higher life expectancy, which benefits the economy in the long run.
Similarly
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,
education
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 is a key driver of national
development
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. When people receive quality
education
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, they gain better job opportunities, contribute to innovation, and help drive economic growth.
Therefore
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, investing in
education
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 and
healthcare
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 not only improves individual well-being but
also
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 strengthens the economy indirectly. In conclusion,
while
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 economic
progress
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 is essential for national
development
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, other factors,
such
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 as
healthcare
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 and
education
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, play a fundamental role in ensuring long-term stability and prosperity. A well-balanced approach that prioritizes both economic and social
development
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 will lead to a more sustainable and prosperous nation.

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Task Achievement
Consider incorporating a counterargument to strengthen your perspective. For instance, you could discuss why some people prioritize economic growth over social factors, acknowledging the potential urgency of financial stability in developing nations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. A clearer connection between the ideas in your paragraphs could enhance the overall flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have presented a well-structured discussion with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which effectively addresses both views.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides relevant examples that support your main points, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic and enriching your argument.
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