Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

this

world,

people

have their own explanations of what is a successful

life

. Some

people

support the idea that working hard and

determination

on their

goals

can lead to a successful

life

, while others believe that one's wealth and

appearance

are of utmost importance to a perfect

life

. In

this

essay, I will discuss

this

topic from both arguments and conclude with my personal opinion. Some say hard work and

determination

are two important factors that contribute to having a successful

life

. Hard-working guarantees that

people

have a stable income, which they can easily support their family.

For example

, the public servants in Taiwan enjoy their

life

because they do not need to worry about

money

. The other contributor is

determination

. Without it,

people

are almost impossible to achieve their

goals

;

as a result

, they disappoint themselves.

Therefore

determination

and hard work are important factors in one's

life

However

, only

money

and

appearance

can help

people

be successful in their

life

, claim others.

Money

, indubitably, plays a crucial role in every aspect of

people

's daily activities, ranging from paying an education fee, raising a family and having entertainment, to receiving medical treatment. It is hard to imagine how miserable a person will be without a decent payment. A good

appearance

, the other key factor, can make

people

's lives easier because humans have a tendency to good looking things.

For example

, when two employees with similar backgrounds look for the same job, usually the one who has a better

appearance

will be hired. Thereby,

this

is why some individuals say

appearance

is the foundation of a successful

life

. In conclusion, while some consider hardworking and

determination

the key elements to a successful

life

due to a stable income and a higher chance of achieving their

goals

, others prefer fortune and

appearance

more because of their necessity and advantages. From my perspective, I agree with the former argument aforementioned and think that

money

might be important to our

life

, but it cannot lead us to a happy

life

Instead

, we can really feel satisfied with ourselves when we achieve our

life

goals

Submitted by champincloud on Sun Jan 09 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.