Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
world,
people
have their own explanations of what is a successful
life
. Some
people
support the idea that working hard and
determination
on their
goals
can lead to a successful
life
, while others believe that one's wealth and
appearance
are of utmost importance to a perfect
life
. In
this
essay, I will discuss
this
topic from both arguments and conclude with my personal opinion. Some say hard work and
determination
are two important factors that contribute to having a successful
life
. Hard-working guarantees that
people
have a stable income, which they can easily support their family.
For example
, the public servants in Taiwan enjoy their
life
because they do not need to worry about
money
. The other contributor is
determination
. Without it,
people
are almost impossible to achieve their
goals
;
as a result
, they disappoint themselves.
Therefore
,
determination
and hard work are important factors in one's
life
.
However
, only
money
and
appearance
can help
people
be successful in their
life
, claim others.
Money
, indubitably, plays a crucial role in every aspect of
people
's daily activities, ranging from paying an education fee, raising a family and having entertainment, to receiving medical treatment. It is hard to imagine how miserable a person will be without a decent payment. A good
appearance
, the other key factor, can make
people
's lives easier because humans have a tendency to good looking things.
For example
, when two employees with similar backgrounds look for the same job, usually the one who has a better
appearance
will be hired. Thereby,
this
is why some individuals say
appearance
is the foundation of a successful
life
. In conclusion, while some consider hardworking and
determination
the key elements to a successful
life
due to a stable income and a higher chance of achieving their
goals
, others prefer fortune and
appearance
more because of their necessity and advantages. From my perspective, I agree with the former argument aforementioned and think that
money
might be important to our
life
, but it cannot lead us to a happy
life
.
Instead
, we can really feel satisfied with ourselves when we achieve our
life
goals
.
Submitted by champincloud on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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