IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

“Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#“some #people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #crimes”
In current society, the crime rate has increased notably. Because of that, there is a debate between people
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the
options
 which can be taken to decrease crimes.
Such
 as the majority says the most suitable punishment is to give them a longer prison sentence while others believe that there are many other
options
 to decrease it.
This
 essay will elaborate on those
options
 and
finally
 present my idea.
To begin
 with, people can change their attitudes in a good manner
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any time. Because of
this
, the prison sentence is inappropriate for a lasting period. As an example, a person who has met with a road accident due to negligence is not suitable to meet a long punishment period.
Furthermore
, there should be rehabilitation and motivational programs to cultivate good thoughts in their minds and after that, they can escape from jail as a valuable man to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society without staying them.
On the other hand
, the government can introduce many rules and regulations which can be limited the crime rates.
Moreover
, they should hold public awareness programs simultaneously to grow knowledge about law points to avoid any kind of notorious things.
Similarly
, if a good mindset cultivates throughout everyone, the violations
be
Change the verb form
are
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 minimized automatically. To illustrate, the religious
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 which help to arise the betterment of society can be located in each state by authorities. These kinds of precautions should follow by the relevant parties to reduce offences. To conclude, though many people believe a long time prison statement is a better way to drop the bad functions, as apposing that my opinion is there are many other
options
 to low the crimes that happen in surrounding nature.
Submitted by priyankamiriyagalla on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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