IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#schools #students #study #courses #support
Some people believe that a certificate from complete high school should have right to they want to study. From my point of view, I agree with
this
 idea and think students in high school can choose
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 they like.
Besides
,
this
 is a good reason for they can improve their own specific skills.
However
, other people think teenagers can not stand or direct their education by themselves. To being with, I strongly agree with students should have
choice
Add an article
the choice
a choice
show examples
 to learn. So, having
chance
Add an article
the chance
a chance
show examples
 to choose what one likes can bring many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
.
In addition
, undergraduates will
learning
Change the verb form
learn
be learning
show examples
 from courses they want to.
For instance
, some students can self-knowledge and find their passion to do the best thing. One another reason, they will develop their own specific skills and already to want they need to learn in college.
Additionally
, teenagers will improve for his or her
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 courses and can
usefulness
Replace the word
use
show examples
 for their future.
For example
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the freshman
show examples
freshman
Fix the agreement mistake
freshmen
show examples
 desire to
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
doctor they take science and mathematics for their study.
This
 is a good way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 their specific skills to education in the future.
On the other hand
, in school should have a teacher to suggest someone cannot totally sure what they like
such
 as the USA undergraduate can choose
topic
Add an article
a topic
the topic
show examples
 to study and they have a teacher help to identify at the same. In summary, I personally agree with
this
 viewpoint because it seems to me that the advantages of a scholar have to pick courses
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 they like. There are many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 for
ready
Add a missing verb
being ready
show examples
 to learn and career in the future.
Submitted by patty50015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: