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Band 6.5

In most parts of the world people are living longer. What are the possible causes of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development?

#parts #world #people #situation #development
These days many older generations go to the old aged homes where they are taken
care
 of by nurses. While some people are of the view that the government should spend on taking
care
 of the expenses for elderly people, others believe that the family should pay for
this
care
. In
this
 essay, I will be discussing my opinion that the government should be responsible for these services. There are two primary reasons for
this
.
To begin
 with, being
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 citizen of a country, we have several facilities that we are entitled to use. Admittedly, older generations have the right to ask the superior authorities to pay for their
retirement
 home as after
retirement
 they do not have enough money to accommodate themselves.
Moreover
, the majority of the population are being taxed based on their income level to enjoy public benefits.
For instance
, a recent study done in India showed that the administration is taking several measures to ensure that the population after
retirement
 are financed to be taken
care
 of at the old aged centre.
Hence
, the old generations deserve to be cared
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
 the government.
Further
 and even more importantly, families are becoming occupied in managing their own expenses.
As a result
 of which, they cannot afford to keep professional staff to take
care
 of their parents.
For example
, an average person who earns 20,000 per month cannot help in supporting the elderly
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by paying for their
retirement
 homes.
Therefore
, retired persons require support from the administration to live with other old people. By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my position stating that
although
 families should contribute to taking
care
 of their parents during their
retirement
, it is the superior authorities who should be held responsible as it is their duty to support the population.
Submitted by afreensaied on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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