IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Some
governments
 believe that they should prioritize economic
progress
. Some
people
,
however
, say there are some aspects of
progress
 that have the same importance.
Although
 both arguments have validity, I would lean toward the latter. On the one hand, many
people
 claim that decision-makers should place
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
importance on other types of developments,
such
 as agriculture and medicine.
People
 believe that every year a considerable amount of water resources are wasted because of inefficient irrigation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, which could lead to water shortage in the foreseeable future. In
this
 situation,
governments
 are expected to focus on
preparation
Add an article
the preparation
show examples
 of adequate infrastructure for farmers,
such
 as
drop
Correct your spelling
drip
show examples
 irrigation, to prevent water resources from being wasted.
Furthermore
,
people
 say officials should take medicine
progress
 into consideration.
This
 is because due to
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 number of factories and cars, many
people
 succumb to pollution-related diseases, which makes it necessary for
governments
 to provide citizens with suitable healthcare.
On the other hand
, many
governments
 feel that economic
progress
 should be their main priority and I agree. They believe that economic
progress
 could impact the life of
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
 directly. Leaders cite that by creating many job opportunities they could increase the quality of
people
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and
this
 is possible only when the country has a powerful
economy
.
Moreover
, another reason that authorities say is that advance in other sectors depends on the
economy
.
For example
, a country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 want to
progress
 in agriculture
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to provide enough financial resources for allocation to
this
 sector and
this
 aim is not possible for countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have a poor
economy
. In conclusion,
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
people
 vary in their opinions; I think that the main task of
governments
 is to provide a powerful
economy
.
This
 is because by doing so, they could provide two desirable outputs; the former would be that the standard of living of
people
's life can be increased. The latter is the fact that
such
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
progress
 paves the way for other sectors to advance.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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