Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think that people are becoming more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
claim with growing technology,
people
are becoming less dependent on others while others argue that communication and teamwork is still the key to success. We will discuss both views in
this
essay and draw my opinion at the end.
To begin
with, The rise of globalisation has led to
Correct article usage
an increase
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increase
Change the verb form
increasing
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in
multi national
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multinational
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companies which hire
lot
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a lot
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of staff for their various departments. The key to success for these companies is effective cooperation between
its
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their
show examples
employees and teams.
Likewise
, As every person is aiming to get a certain specialization in a certain field, our society is still dependent on other
people
for availing goods and services.
For example
, The public has to still acquire services for legal help from a lawyer or visit a doctor when sick.
On the other hand
, there is
shift
Add an article
a shift
the shift
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in the trend among the younger generation who prefer independence.
For Instance
, Many young adults prefer to stay alone and move out from their
famalies
Correct your spelling
families
rather than staying in a traditional joint family.
Also
, Technology has enabled
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
solutions and information over the internet which has limited the conversation among
people
. Overall, I still believe though advancement in technology has reduced the interaction
amoung
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among
the public
upto
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up to
to
some extent in their personal life but,
People
still need to communicate and work as a team to achieve success in day to day life.
Furthermore
, As the economy develops, our work and lives will be even more linked as development depends on equal contribution in society.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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