IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

DISCUSS WHEN, IF EVER, CAPITAL PUNISHMENT – THE DEATH PENALTY – CAN BE VIEWED AS A VALID PUNISHMENT FOR CRIME

#punishment #death #penalty #crime
To many people, capital
punishment
 is detestable, but it is practicable to view it as a reasonable means of
punishment
. In my point of view,
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
 penalty can be justified if some
conditions
 are present. In
this
 essay, I like to discuss these
conditions
 in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
. The rules and laws of
society
 are made for the purpose of protecting its members. If anyone made
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 action to these rules and laws
then
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 penalty may be
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 answer. For instance,
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
 murder that has been committed is so disgusting that
society
 cannot allow the criminal back into its fold,
then
 the
death
 warrant may be the only answer. In the other condition, if the offender shows no guilt and is not capable of feeling any shame for his horrible actions,
then
 the only solution may be
death
. In
these scenario
Change the determiner
this scenario
these scenarios
show examples
, it is clear that the criminal cannot be
rehab
Wrong verb form
rehabbed
show examples
.
Third
Add an article
A third
The third
show examples
 important consideration is that if
offender
Add an article
the offender
an offender
show examples
 is guilty after his crime act,
then
 it is important to make sure to the best of his ability. If someone is punished with imprisonment and later found to be innocent, he can be released from prison.
However
, it is not possible if
Correct article usage
the
show examples
punishment
 is
death
. Conclusively, I believe that it is necessary to consider three main
conditions
. If the crime is so bad
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it would be impossible to accept
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 back into
society
. There must be no hope and expectation that the offender can ever be rehabilitated to
society
 and there must be no doubt if
criminal
Add an article
the criminal
a criminal
show examples
 is guilty
for
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 his horrible crime. If any situation does not contain above mentioned
conditions
,
then
 I believe that
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 penalty is
morally
Correct article usage
a morally
show examples
 wrong
punishment
.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: