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Band 4.5

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult.

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
I personally think that
government
 should take proper regulations and control the crime rate rather than imposing
restrictions
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 teenagers. Even though the
restrictions
 would reduce
worries
Correct article usage
the worries
show examples
 of the parents, that will negatively impact the freedom of the young children.
First
 of all, the crime rate and the drug usage in cities like
Alonga
Correct your spelling
Along
 and Nethal are very high and
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has not taken any steps to reduce it.
Instead
Add a comma
,Instead
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 they have imposed
restrictions
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the common people living there. There was a news item
last
 month from
Alonga
Correct your spelling
Along
 that an 18 years boy got killed in a bar and the reason for the incident is an argument after having drugs. Drug usage is the main reason for most of the crimes happening there, so my opinion is that
government
 should ban drugs and night parties from these notorious cities.
Secondly
, the number of COPS available in these places are very less compared to other cities. The main reason for
this
 shortage is
because
Correct word choice
that
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 the officials are afraid to do the duties in
such
 locations as it is life-threatening for them. My opinion is that
government
 should take more responsibility for
this
 and post more armed and trained army officials in
this
 kind of
locations
Fix the agreement mistake
location
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 than normal police officials. Considering all these reasons, I believe
instead
 of imposing curfew and
restrictions
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers, the
government
 should take necessary steps to control the crime rate. Again these are my personal beliefs, but I will support whatever the
government
 decides to do. I appreciate the opportunity to provide my input on
this
 issue.
Submitted by neetagopal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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