IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods
International
aids
 play a crucial role in the keys of friendship amongst the
countries
.
However
, these funds recently vanished, and many lives have to suffer from it, from both the giver and receiver
countries
, that people suggest that the government should not send the money. In my opinion, I would like to stay in the middle ground of
this
 debate. On the one hand, international
aids
 help the citizens of emerging
countries
 have more space to raise their living conditions and qualities. Unemployment, poverty, and illiteracy happen in these nations, and the government cannot handle them independently. Researches show that developing
countries
 have a big hole in their budget of loans from more significant
countries
, and many cannot afford the bill, which they have to give away their lands like Sri Lanka.
Therefore
, these
aids
 can be handy, as the government can allocate resources to tackle the issue.
However
,
this
 may only work if the country can clamp down on tax havens and force our international companies to abide by social, environmental, and accounting norms. On the other side, some argue that generous aid is absurd, which is true in some
countries
, especially in low-economic ones. Inflations and wrong-purposed motivations have thrived amongst the governors, dramatically affecting the people.
Furthermore
, arms trades are pushed, and the dwellers' lives are put in danger, too. While the funds must be reserved for the development and maintenance of its institution and social security measures, they are considered over-generous, so it is not a suggestion to bring money without hesitation. In conclusion,
aids
 bring benefits for the friendship between
countries
.
However
, giving cash with no control may not bring good results;
therefore
, it has to be carefully checked or given, if necessary.
Submitted by arash.dejkameh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: