At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of old people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, in some ,
countries
the young generation population overtakes the old ones. Some
people
think that time
situation
can bring more benefits to the
countries
.
This
essay will discuss the advantages of
this
situation
is outweigh the deaverages. The essay will
first
demonstrate that the more younger
adults
it has in the
countries
the more benefits can be added.
Next
, the essay will illustrate the drawbacks and negative impacts of
this
situation
.
First
, the benefit of the relatively larger
number
of young
adults
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
it will decline the pressure on every young
people
. In
this
modern world, some
countries
children
rate population had declined significantly,
such
as Japan or Taiwan, the rate of
children
per woman is only less than 1.
This
means that in
this
recent years, women dislike having
children
, in the future
children
will decline whereas due to medical development the older
people
rate will
increase
. To take care of those older
people
, every young
people
pressure will
increase
.
Therefore
, having a high
number
of young
adults
is good for society and as a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
result there will have more
people
who can look after the older.
On the other hand
, high numbers of young
adults
mean that the
work
opportunity of each
people
will decline. There is going to have lots of
people
who contend with the
work
opportunity because the numbers of
work
might not
increase
.
However
,
this
situation
will not be a serious problem, it is possible that in the future the
work
opportunity will
increase
and will have various kinds of
work
involved. In conclusion,
countries
include a relatively large
number
of young generation than the
number
of old
people
advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The more young
people
there are the less pressure will be taken on looking after older
people
.
Submitted by celinelee0903 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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