"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

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Recently, various aspects of the digital world and education caused so much stress for youngsters, which of course could be reduced.

In other words

Linking Words

, it would be diminished if the situation

such

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as trending comparison between children controlled by educating people. Juxtaposition by mothers and fathers is probably the main cause of the pressure that scions are going through.

However

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, mothers and fathers should comprehend that there are a few talented ones in the world but the majority are normal and

this

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comparison would be a radical mistake. Arat Hosseini,

for example

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, is one talented football player as a child which

also

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compares to top players

as well as

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Leo Messi.

Moreover

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, some parents want to show off their offspring which leads them to compel their offspring to attend many classes, to name a few, playing a musical instrument,

sports

Correct word choice

and sports

show examples

like swimming

besides

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expecting them to get

Correct article usage

a grade

show examples

grade

Fix the agreement mistake

grades

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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at school.

This

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amount of expectation causes mental issues like a high level of anxiety

through

Change preposition

throughout

show examples

childhood in consequence. The next reason would be intending to make money through children, which makes some mothers and fathers post different pictures of their offspring on social media like Instagram to attract more followers. After all, there are remedies to decrease these pressures on youngsters which should

hold

Wrong verb form

be held

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by the government and individuals. Firs solution would be legislative strict regulations on sharing posts of children under a certain age like 15.

For instance

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, penalties e.g. fines or even detention could prevent them who sharing these photos. The other important measure is educating people ,especially parents through workshops,

Change preposition

apply

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samples, TV shows and so on which could result in perceiving of negative impacts of comparison on a person as a child or even as an adult. The

last

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remedy is the investment in finding their true talent and supporting them to grow. To illustrate, funding a talented musician child to become a proper singer or composer would result in a better outcome than forcing her to become a mathematician which would satisfy neither her parents nor herself.

To conclude

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, the high rate of the pressure of different perspectives which

suffers

Verb problem

apply

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youngsters could be descended through various ways.

Hence

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, understanding each person's capability

simultaneous

Change the word

simultaneously

show examples

with proper legislation

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

some

Correct determiner usage

one

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of them.

Sarah_nazariSat Jan 15 2022

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task response

Improve task response by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the causes and solutions of the pressures faced by children.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

375 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

The problem of homelessness is on the rise in several significant urban centers globally. What is the main cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to sove it by communities and governments?

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure.