IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #age
Arguably, it is commented that the appropriate age to be engaged should be the minimum age of 21. Personally, I strongly disagree with the view since the overwhelming majority of individuals live in the democratic rule where Boys and Girls choose
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 right time to mate
Although
 a tiny minority is influenced by these
crazies
Change noun form
crazy's
crazies'
show examples
 ideas.
This
 essay will shed light on both sides of the view and provide evidence to prove the arguments. On the one hand, individuals have the right to choose their fate.
In other words
, people are free to set their own lives,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 appropriate time to study and to engage.
For instance
, 90% of European citizens vary significantly the moment they choose to be wife or husband, being well over 30 years old
the
Change preposition
during the
show examples
 chosen period, it is pointed out by the new research carried out by the University of Exeter.
As a result
, no one goes under pressure
due to
 late marriage.
Furthermore
, it is the overriding reason for the less compromised individuals in these locations.
On the other hand
, remote societies take seriously
this
 dizzy idea. Because of a shortfall of information
as well as
 social pressure, people from underprivileged communities become wives and husbands earlier, at the age of 21 or before.
For example
, 40% of
Africa
Replace the word
African
show examples
 folk mate early
due to
 relatives' enforcement.
Hence
, many Girls lose school escalating the number of illiterates.
Moreover
, It is the prime reason for the local living to be out of
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
To sum up
, notwithstanding the view to be valuable in some societies,
this
 is not the way
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to follow owing to the fact that human beings are free to decide about what is good and bad for them.
Therefore
, I still strongly disagree with the statement.
Submitted by vascomunguarepenete on

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task response
Ensure to address the prompt directly by expressing a clear opinion on whether the legal age to marry should be 21 or not.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay in a more structured manner. Include a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points. Develop your ideas logically and cohesively throughout the essay.

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