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Band 5.5

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients
In
this
aging
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ageing
show examples
 society, most senior citizens are
adviced
Correct your spelling
advised
advice
 about
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 out
regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
 by many doctors.
However
, a lot of patients do not act on
exercise
Add an article
an exercise
show examples
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
 is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
 the
adivce
Correct your spelling
advice
 is a long
a way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
 from older people’s personal circumstances. To explain why is it happens,
first
 of all in many cases of older people who suffer from physical decline and lack of economic power. Most elderly experience muscle weakness and weakened bones due to natural
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
therefore
 they complain that it is difficult to follow the
exercise
 routine recommended by the doctor.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 for
older
Add an article
the older
an older
show examples
 generation who have to earn money to make a living, they don't have enough time to
exercise
 and the
exercise
sometimes
Add a missing verb
is sometimes
show examples
 a big burden to make the sustentation.
Nevertheless
, in
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 societies
such
 as Korea and Japan, it is important to encourage the elderly to
exercise
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
 of population decline. To maintain the health of the elderly population, the Japanese government established parks and distributed gymnastics that can do while working for
senior
Add an article
the senior
a senior
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
nongovernmental
Add an article
the nongovernmental
show examples
 athletic club is very hopping in Korea which experiencing the same
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 phenomenon. Catching up with
club's
Correct article usage
the club's
show examples
 popularity, the government supports private organizations
such
 as
Increase
Wrong verb form
Increasing
show examples
 infrastructure accessibility to mountains through bus operation. A lot of studies agree that the efforts of the two governments had
paied
Correct your spelling
paid
 off. In conclusion,
Many
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many
show examples
 countries are experiencing an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 population due to low birth rates. A lot of support is essential for health management so that the elderly can live together as healthy members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our society. That support will be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advantage for all
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of society who will become seniors in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
furture
Correct your spelling
future
.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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