‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?
Some
people
suggest the idea that it is better if everyone gives some of their earnings to voluntary organizations
. According to
my view, Change preposition
In
charity
or voluntary organizations
are based on supporters with their wish to help. So, it appears that it doesn’t need to expect donations from everyone, and I will explain why in this
essay. The main obstacle appears that it would be difficult for those people
who live on a budget can
barely meet their needs to spend extra money on others. Correct word choice
and can
For instance
, in developing countries like Mongolia, most citizens have low incomes, thus
, it is not fair to judge them by not donating money to charity
. Moreover
, if everyone becomes volunteers
and Fix the agreement mistake
volunteer
charity
organizations
become more popular, the financially deprived population could expect and demand too much from
those Correct quantifier usage
more from
organizations
than they can give. This
situation can lead to an increase in the unemployment rate among those people
who rely on donations and might cause those unpaid people
’s work to be unworthy. Despite this
, If everybody could give extra money to the people
who are
a dearth of it, our society would become more peaceful and joyful. Verb problem
have
Though
, the financial instability of most Correct word choice
However
people
makes this
statement impractical. To summarize, the different financial situations in most areas and the necessity of having a limited number of charity
foundations makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
this
point to
everybody is not needed to raise Change preposition
that
to
donation.Change preposition
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite