IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 suggest the idea that it is better if everyone gives some of their earnings to voluntary
organizations
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
According to
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my view,
charity
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 or voluntary
organizations
Use synonyms
 are based on supporters with their wish to help. So, it appears that it doesn’t need to expect donations from everyone, and I will explain why in
this
Linking Words
 essay. The main obstacle appears that it would be difficult for those
people
Use synonyms
 who live on a budget
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 barely meet their needs to spend extra money on others.
For instance
Linking Words
, in developing countries like Mongolia, most citizens have low incomes,
thus
Linking Words
, it is not fair to judge them by not donating money to
charity
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if everyone becomes
volunteers
Fix the agreement mistake
volunteer
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 and
charity
Use synonyms
organizations
Use synonyms
 become more popular, the financially deprived population could expect and demand too much
from
Correct quantifier usage
more from
show examples
 those
organizations
Use synonyms
 than they can give.
This
Linking Words
 situation can lead to an increase in the unemployment rate among those
people
Use synonyms
 who rely on donations and might cause those unpaid
people
Use synonyms
’s work to be unworthy. Despite
this
Linking Words
, If everybody could give extra money to the
people
Use synonyms
 who
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a dearth of it, our society would become more peaceful and joyful.
Though
Correct word choice
However
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, the financial instability of most
people
Use synonyms
 makes
this
Linking Words
 statement impractical. To summarize, the different financial situations in most areas and the necessity of having a limited number of
charity
Use synonyms
 foundations
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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this
Linking Words
 point
to
Change preposition
that
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 everybody is not needed to raise
to
Change preposition
apply
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donation.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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