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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

#crime #countries #world #people #trend
Most countries in the world are
going to rising
Verb problem
committing
show examples
crimes
 that are
made
Verb problem
committed
show examples
 by young
men
. I will write about commonly happened three causes and we can make two changes.
To begin
 with,
Men
 become addicted to
alcohol
 and drugs. These change the human’s mind
that is
 uncontrol and wild. When
men
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 drunk, they
make
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 a lot of
crimes
.
For instance
; In Mongolia. 70% of society
crimes
 that
man
 was drunk.
Secondly
 is anger. It looks like a disease
that is
 spreading rapidly in your brain and
man
 can’t
control
Correct pronoun usage
control it
show examples
. A final factor is the family’s uncomfortable situation.
For instance
, teenagers;
their
Correct your spelling
'
 character is changing immediately. At the moment their parents don’t understand them. So, they
maybe will
Wrong verb form
may
show examples
 use drugs and
alcohol
.
As a result
, they fall
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 severe punishment or light punishment. All these causes are going to connect psychology. Turning to possible solutions, we will be
made
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 higher taxes on
alcohol
. If we began a tax system,
alcohol
 usage would be reduced. A second remedy might be
men
 should relax and talk to each other.
Man
 must learn his own control and spend
own
Correct pronoun usage
his own
show examples
 free time fun and must always learn new things.
For Example
: make meditate and do yoga and discover your new hobby. In summary, the factor of
crimes
 appears to
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many causes and solutions.
However
,
man
 is not in control of his own every moment, the best of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important factor is to feel yourself
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
love yourself and understand family.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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