Violence in the media promote violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #media #society

Nowadays the

media

has a great impact on individuals’ lives. It is

considered

Verb problem

apply

show examples

violence is shown to the community by film,

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

etc. in the

media

. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

statement promoting violent content our society will be discussing the same in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, people pretend things they have seen in the

media

for

this

reason advertising violence

among

Change preposition

show examples

society increases continually. In recent decades, the film industry has easily manipulated audiences with extreme scenes.

For example

, the series Fast and Furious which is an action movie includes plenty of car scenes which is why human beings watching

this

wrap their car around

another

Correct pronoun usage

one another

show examples

in the traffic,

thus

the range of car accidents are able to go up.

Also

Change preposition

apply

show examples

terms of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

media

abusing

Wrong verb form

abuse

show examples

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

this

idea

Change preposition

show examples

Facebook and Instagram. More and more people overbear their libellous words and use bad language.

For instance

, a person sharing a photo

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

naked takes comments that are full of a harness.

Thus

, sighted people behave alike by affecting their content. Toleration has been diminished between every nation naturally.

Furthermore

, the famous group ‘DAESH’ has been growing violent images through different

media

. In consequence, many youngsters joined them. In conclusion, brutality is becoming widespread on the internet with movies and social

media

While

human beings are exposed to

this

situation, the

media

has been taking

Correct article usage

the

show examples

lead. In

this

regard, governments should point out

that is

violence a problem and restrict it for children.

Submitted by alkanyilmaz90 on Tue Jan 18 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Violence in the media promote violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people are not as fit and healthy as they used to be in the past which creates health issues in the long the run. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by society than musicians and artists. What extend do you agree or disagree with that statement

It is believed that children from countries with a high level of unemployment should be offered just with a primary education and should not be offered with a secondary education as anyway they will not get a job in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Describe an important lesson you learned in primary school. You should say: what is it when you learned it how you learned it and explain how it became important in your future life.