IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, schools are open till late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#countries #schools #children #parents #work
In the recent century, most of the
parents
 go to work together in many countries. Due to
this
 fact, they can not take care of their
children
 during the day completely.
Moreover
,
children
 can stay in
schools
 till late.
Thus
,
schools
 can take care of them until their
parents
 come home.
This
 matter
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has its own pros and cons. Teaching is the most important job for
schools
.
Although
 the
second
 job of
schools
 is taking care of students, which is in the specific
time
.
This
time
 could be extended more than usual.one of the positive points is that, Looking after students when their
parents
 are at work help
children
 to not be alone at home.
Moreover
, their
time
 can be more useful, they can do their homework and play with their classmates.
For example
, one of my neighbours'
children
 stay at school and use the
time
 to do her homework. After coming home she can eat dinner and go to bed sooner than her peers. Because she used her
time
 correctly.
This
 article has some negative points either. When
children
 can not see their
parents
 as well as, usual, they can not tell their problems for their
parents
 due to lack of
time
 or connection. So, not only they can not solve some of their problems, but
also
 they might get help from their peers and solve them in the wrong way.
For instance
, I know a child, Which had spent most of the hours of his days in school. After a
while
Add a comma
,while
show examples
 he faced some emotional problems.Fortunately, his
parents
 understood his lack of attention and help him to be improved by getting more off days and going on holidays. In conclusion,
children
 need to be with their family for at least half of the day. If
parents
 can not provide
this
time
, they should find a way to improve
children
's situation by more off days.
Submitted by newshazare on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: