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Writing Samples
Band 6

What is the advantages and disadvantages of travelling abroad?

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There are many ways of spending free time. One of them is travelling. Certainly, it has its pros and cons. The first advantage of travelling is visiting interesting places and meeting new people. It is connected with getting to know other cultures and traditions which is surely valuable.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is usually said that
journeys
Use synonyms
 educate, so
while
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 travelling
as well as
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exploration
Replace the word
exploring
show examples
 we can make our knowledge wider. ,
Also
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 we become more experienced and ready to cope with the surrounding world if we learn something
while
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 being on the journey.
Furthermore
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, travelling is the best solution for those of us who suffer from boredom or want to get away from "grey reality" and experience a great adventure.
Journeys
Use synonyms
 give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people a little fun and
also
Linking Words
 make dreams come true.
On the other hand
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,
journeys
Use synonyms
 have some crucial disadvantages.
Firstly
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,
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
 of travelling are often quite high
for example
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 travelling by plane. Travelling can lead to falling ill and maybe
then
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 too expensive treatment or in case of a fatal accident like
for instance
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 car and aerial one to death of many people. The next disadvantage is fatigue that occurs
while
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 travelling. Most
journeys
Use synonyms
last
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 very long, and it can make us feel tired.
To sum up
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, travelling is a very good way of spending time. It can educate, give impressions, nice memories and
let
Verb problem
apply
show examples
make friends.
However
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, in my ,opinion travelling in spite of its whole advantages, should not be the only way to learn about the world.

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coherence cohesion
You have presented a basic structure with an introduction and conclusion. Try to make your introduction more engaging by including a thesis statement that clearly states the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. The conclusion should succinctly summarize your points rather than introducing new ideas or stating the purpose of travel.
coherence cohesion
Your essay somewhat logically structures the content, but transitions between ideas can be improved. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas more clearly. Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear main idea and use corresponding supporting sentences to develop that idea effectively.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your main points, include more specific examples and explanations for each advantage and disadvantage discussed. This will provide greater support for your arguments and demonstrate an ability to consider different aspects of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task to a satisfactory extent but could be more fully developed into a complete response. Ensure all parts of the task are answered and that your ideas are expanded upon with more detailed information and examples. Your response must show a clear understanding of the question and cover both advantages and disadvantages equally.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, they would benefit from more development and depth. Work on enriching your response with more comprehensive explanations and reasoning. This would demonstrate a greater engagement with the topic and a more thorough understanding.
task achievement
You have included a general example in your response, but it is critical to use specific, relevant examples to illustrate the points you are making. These examples will help convey the practical implications and make your arguments more persuasive and authentic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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