Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
contemporary era, modern technology has replaced almost everything in
people
Use synonyms
's everyday
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that paying too much attention to and maintaining public
libraries
Use synonyms
is a waste of money, as the newest computers can replace their functions. Personally, I disagree with that position, as local
libraries
Use synonyms
can contribute to the development of the nation's
culture
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, local
libraries
Use synonyms
are at the heart of the nation's
culture
Use synonyms
.
Libraries
Use synonyms
, in their own right, mean much more than a place for reading, especially for elderly
people
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
prefer to visit the library not only to borrow a book or just to read
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
to interact with other individuals.
For instance
Linking Words
, old-fashioned
people
Use synonyms
still visit the library with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
purpose
to socialize
Change preposition
of socializing
show examples
with others. Meanwhile,
libraries
Use synonyms
are crucial for some nations.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Bulgaria, all the cultural activities on special days take place in the
libraries
Use synonyms
as a symbol of
culture
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, modern technology provides a simple and convenient method to find and read a book, but it is not equally accessible to all of society.
For example
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
may not have the basic knowledge to deal with computers and may prefer to read paper-based books. In conclusion, investing in
libraries
Use synonyms
still works because in many countries they are a symbol of
culture
Use synonyms
and a main source of interaction for elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
but not least, it is crucial to have
libraries
Use synonyms
because many older individuals may struggle with basic and modern technology and prefer paper-based books over digital alternatives.
Submitted by yuzgeademova2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your thesis statement can be more concise. Consider rephrasing it for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are quite long and would benefit from being split into shorter, clearer sentences.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that provide a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
You offer relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: