IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

#Health - "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)

#health #prevention #cure #country #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures #ielts #ac
It is true that "
Prevention
 is better than cure". Some argue that a large amount of a
country
's
health
 budget must be allocated to focus more on
health
 education and
prevention
 methods. I completely agree with that notion because it will gradually improve the
health
 condition of a
country
.
Prevention
 of disease before it occurs,
as well as
 more
health
awareness
 among people, will prove
this
.
To begin
 with, if a
country
 focuses more on the strategies to prevent a disease before it occurs
then
 it can control the outbreak of the disease.
For instance
, introducing preventive
measures
 like face masks, hand sanitisers, and social distancing has proved to control the transmission of the coronavirus.
Therefore
, if an individual already has knowledge and
measures
 to control the
health
 issue
then
 the majority of diseases can be prevented.
Secondly
, when a
country
 prioritizes on
health
 education and preventive
measures
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will develop
awareness
 among the public.
For example
, an
awareness
 campaign to teach the public to dispose of the waste properly can prevent a lot of air-borne diseases.
Thus
,
health
awareness
 campaigns are crucial. Critics argue that most of the
health
 budget should be allocated for treatment as most of the public can not afford the hospital bills.
However
, diseases are less likely to occur if people are well-educated.
To conclude
, it is safe to say that early
prevention
 is way better than treatment and the government should focus more on
awareness
 and preventive campaigns.
Therefore
, from a
country
's
health
 budget, a huge amount should be diverted from treatment to spending on
health
 education and preventative
measures
.
Submitted by ashmamrzn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all points in the essay are fully developed. Some arguments could benefit from additional detail and examples.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent paragraph structure to improve the flow. Avoid abrupt changes within paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay topic.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are used to illustrate main points, enhancing task achievement.
logical structure
Good logical flow of ideas within paragraphs, contributing to coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health budget
  • preventative measures
  • health education
  • chronic diseases
  • allocation of funds
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • public awareness campaigns
  • long-term healthcare costs
  • lifestyle changes
  • disease prevention
  • emergency services
  • research and development
  • cost-effective strategies
  • early detection
What to do next:
Look at other essays: