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Band 6

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantage of technology outweigh the disadvantages

#people #media #touch #news #events #advantage #technology
Some
people
 use social media to keep in touch with other
people
 and news events. I believe that
this
 has more benefits than drawbacks. The disadvantage of
this
 development is that using social media to contact work or
people
 will reduce the chance to meet each other since
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 can talk together , even though, we stay so far.
For example
, I slept in my bedroom and I just woke up
then
 I was hungry.
Consequently
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can use social media to tell my mom to cook by not necessary meeting her in the kitchen. Despite
this
, there are significant advantages it can bring to
people
's lives.
Firstly
, Using an app network can decrease the waste of time to meet face to face.
This
 is because we can talk by using the internet
For example
, according to the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University, it was revealed that many
people
 stayed in Canada and miss their parents in Thailand , They can use a video call to see their faces.
In addition
 to
this
, on a wider
level
Add a comma
,level
show examples
 it may
also
 benefit we can understand or know about details of work immediately as an employed can explain involve details by chatting or video call. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that The boss from Microsoft company has a new project ,
Furthermore
, He needs his employee to do it urgently.
Therefore
, He can show a detail of the project to me at the moment. I would,
therefore
, argue that
although
 there are disadvantages of the current trend , they are outweighed by the advantages.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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