IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

with more people choosing to watch travel programs on tv and social media, fewer people will be willing to pay the costs of travelling abroad. To what extent extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Discipline
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 in schools has become a growing problem in modern education. Some believe that
discipline
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 is under the control of
teachers
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 because they spend most of their time with
students
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. Others believe that
parents
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 should play a key role in shaping their child's upbringing from an early age, as the upbringing of children greatly affects their
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behavior
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behaviour
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 in
school
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 Supporters of the idea that
teachers
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 should be responsible for
discipline
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 argue that schools are structured environments where
students
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 must follow rules to ensure effective learning.
Teachers
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 spend a significant amount of time with
students
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 and are in the best position to enforce
discipline
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 during
school
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 hours. They can implement classroom management strategies, set clear expectations and take corrective actions when necessary.
On the other hand
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, some believe that
parents
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 play a more crucial role in shaping a child’s
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Discipline
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 begins at home, and children who are taught respect, responsibility, and self-control by their
parents
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 are more likely to behave well in
school
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. If
parents
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 fail to
instill
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instil
show examples
 these values,
teachers
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 may struggle to manage disruptive
students
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.
Moreover
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, parental involvement in a child’s education,
such
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 as monitoring homework and reinforcing good
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, significantly influences their attitude toward
school
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. When
parents
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 set strong moral foundations, children are more likely to follow
school
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 rules without constant supervision. In conclusion, both
teachers
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 and
parents
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 play essential roles in maintaining
discipline
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 among
students
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.
Teachers
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 are responsible for enforcing rules in the classroom and ensuring a structured learning environment,
while
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parents
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 lay the foundation for good
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 through upbringing and guidance.
However
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, in my opinion,
discipline
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 should be a shared responsibility.
Parents
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 should
instill
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instil
show examples
 core values at home,
while
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teachers
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 should reinforce these principles in
school
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.

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task achievement
To further enhance your response, ensure that you provide specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points on how parents influence discipline, which would strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to add more complexity and variety to your writing. This can improve the overall flow and interest of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view on the roles of both teachers and parents, which demonstrates critical thinking and a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your logical structure is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, which aids readability and comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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