Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases

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In the concurrent world, advanced technologies are everywhere in our daily lives. Due to

this

Linking Words

advancement, we have invented lots of electronic devices. Some people

concerned

Add a missing verb

are concerned

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that these pieces of equipment may offend us. They think that these phones may share our information

Change preposition

with

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others.

Also

Linking Words

, we do not know that we have been watched most of the time. To me, I consider that

this

Linking Words

may lead to flaws if we do not handle it well. After the 19 century,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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computers had shown up. We all know that these calculators can store loads of databases. The cyber links

also

Linking Words

have been improved recently.

Combined

Wrong verb form

Combining

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these two inventions, it can be easier to track everyone in the world. Generally, modern people cannot live without the internet. When we

first

Linking Words

connect to it, it

start

Change the verb form

starts

show examples

to record what we have googled. After that, it sends data to its services storage machines.

In addition

Linking Words

, those big companies

such

Linking Words

as Google can know precisely the things that you have done before. What’s more, it is clear that when you are travelling, you obviously utilise online maps to navigate yourself.

However

Linking Words

, when you try to find the roads, those apps

such

Linking Words

as Apple map

also

Linking Words

collect your locations.

In addition

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, those apps can

also

Linking Words

know where you like to go.

Hence

Linking Words

, they can send relevant adverts to you and promote their incomes. To conclude, I consider these monitoring technologies sometimes can be convenient.

However

Linking Words

, it sometimes

also

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can be bothered. If those enterprises can moderate their policy and let the folk know exactly what they are doing,

this

Linking Words

may become its benefit.

Submitted by sam658769 on Thu Jan 20 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Your opinion

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits in society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the advantages?

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The massive movement of people from agricultural areas to cities in search of employment can lead to serious problems in both places. What are the problems, and how can these be solved?

In some countries, the average body weight is increasing, health and fitness levels are decreasing, what are the causes for this problem and what measeure can be taken to prevent this ?

Remote work has drastically improved productivity. This boost in productivity is attributed to the improved work-life balance that becomes more attainable when working from home. To what extent do you agree?