Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

In the concurrent world, advanced technologies are everywhere in our daily lives. Due to
this
advancement, we have invented lots of electronic devices. Some people
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
show examples
that these pieces of equipment may offend us. They think that these phones may share our information
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others.
Also
, we do not know that we have been watched most of the time. To me, I consider that
this
may lead to flaws if we do not handle it well. After the 19 century,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers had shown up. We all know that these calculators can store loads of databases. The cyber links
also
have been improved recently.
Combined
Wrong verb form
Combining
show examples
these two inventions, it can be easier to track everyone in the world. Generally, modern people cannot live without the internet. When we
first
connect to it, it
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
to record what we have googled. After that, it sends data to its services storage machines.
In addition
, those big companies
such
as Google can know precisely the things that you have done before. What’s more, it is clear that when you are travelling, you obviously utilise online maps to navigate yourself.
However
, when you try to find the roads, those apps
such
as Apple map
also
collect your locations.
In addition
, those apps can
also
know where you like to go.
Hence
, they can send relevant adverts to you and promote their incomes. To conclude, I consider these monitoring technologies sometimes can be convenient.
However
, it sometimes
also
can be bothered. If those enterprises can moderate their policy and let the folk know exactly what they are doing,
this
may become its benefit.
Submitted by sam658769 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: