Some belief that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a growing concern about whether funding for education should be used for
computers
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or
teachers
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. The writer of
this
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essay thinks that it is better to spend on
teachers
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due to
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their ability to solve
students
Use synonyms
's problems by having a deep understanding of their situations despite the fact that the provision of various knowledge on the internet. Remarkably, it is vital to understand that
teachers
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have emotions so they can easily understand
students
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's feelings.
In other words
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,
this
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will help them understand more about their scholars and can be a person that these
students
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can rely on.
Additionally
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,
students
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can express their feelings or problems that they are having to
teachers
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and
teachers
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will honestly give them advice.
Therefore
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,
teachers
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will contribute positively to both scholars's mental health and intellectual thinking.
However
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, some claim that
computers
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play a more important role in education because
students
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can have access to a wide range of knowledgeable materials. To be more specific, Scholars can learn things they want which boosts will boost their learning interest.
This
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statement seems to be true to some extent but
students
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can
also
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have a chance of getting distracted.
This
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can be understood that despite the large-scale knowledge,
computers
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also
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have entertaining applications
such
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as games or videos on online platforms like YouTube,
this
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will lead to a problem that
students
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will be distracted by these circumstances and their study progress will go down
as a result
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. In conclusion,
although
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spending money on
computers
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for teaching is a good idea in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to a variety of information
in
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on
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the Internet, there is ample evidence showing why spending on
teachers
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offers more benefits
such
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as the ability to tackle
students
Use synonyms
's dilemma.
Thus
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, it is better to spend funding on
teachers
Use synonyms

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Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion, but it could be made stronger by briefly mentioning both sides of the argument before stating your own view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition' to help connect your ideas better.
Task Achievement
Try to give more examples or facts that support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for small grammar and spelling mistakes, such as 'students's' which should be 'students'. This improves overall clarity.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear opinion in the introduction, which is good for task response.
Task Achievement
You explained why teachers are important very well, showing a deep understanding of their role.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Investing
  • educational resources
  • collaborative learning
  • personalized and adaptive learning
  • professional development
  • talented educators
  • creative and effective teaching methods
  • human interaction
  • mentorship
  • critical thinking
  • emotional support
  • balance
  • digital tools
  • high-quality teaching
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