IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Why are some people who leave school early more successful compared with those who complete their studies? Provide reasons why they are more successful and what are the requirements for success?

#people #school #studies #requirements #success
The controversial topic concerning
success
 never fails to attract public attention. Which begs a question: why are many
folks
 who leave
school
 early are more likely to succeed while those who finish their studies have lower chances of
success
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In my opinion, The
reasons
 for
this
 are social
reasons
 and financial
reasons
.
This
 essay will discuss the requirement for
success
 like integrity and dedication. some people who leave their
school
 early succeed.
This
 is because of social and financial
reasons
.
Firstly
, from the social standpoint, they would be able to interact with others earlier and would gain social experience before others finish their
education
.
Furthermore
, they would be able to gain soft skills. They would
also
 do mistakes and learn how to rectify them earlier than others.
Secondly
, from a financial standpoint, they would be able to work sooner and make money sooner than those who finish their
education
.
Therefore
, they would be more likely to have a good future.
For example
, encouraging research found that 80% of the
folks
 who leave their
education
 early are more likely to be successful in both social and financial life.For these
reasons
, I believe they would be more successful compared with those who finish their
education
. Some might ask what are the requirements for
success
? When it comes to
success
 we can see that Integrity and dedication are always crucial qualities to
success
. In conclusion,
Folks
 who decide not to finish their
school
 are more successful than
folks
 who finish their
school
education
.
This
 essay showed that social and financial
reasons
 are the key to
success
.
This
 essay
also
 provided the requirements of
success
 like integrity and dedication
Submitted by aymanshabakaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: