Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefits students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With an increasing population paying more attention to the development in the spiritual aspect, the number of people studying in universities is more than before.
While
someone
Correct pronoun usage
Some
argues
that governments and schools should not give financial Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
support
to students
because of no benefits. I do not agree with this
point to a large degree.
Firstly
, not all students
could
afford the cost. As we all know, universities spend a large number of funds on not only purchasing experimental equipment but Wrong verb form
can
also
doing surveys and affording teachers’ salaries as well. Thus
, it is unrealistic to ask students
to provide all financial support
for these. In addition
, there are still many students
asking for student loans to continue their studies. If students
are requested to pay the whole costs
of studies, there might be someone who has to give up their academic education because of the shortage of finance.
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
Besides
, the public could also
be benefited even they
offer funds to the university. Correct word choice
if they
In other words
, with the support
of society, students
would have a chance to get comprehensive skills. The more graduates well-educated, the more contribution they devote to societies, and also
the more profits states could get from these people. Furthermore
, considering the rapid development of a country, society has an obligation to offer students
or schools financial support
.
In conclusion, it is inevitable that the community provides part of fees
Correct article usage
the fees
to
people’s education. Not only is it helpful for people but is beneficial for any other aspects including society itself and the state.Change preposition
for
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task response
Provide more relevant examples and data to support your points. Make sure to address all aspects of the topic more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices in order to improve the overall coherence of the essay.