IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #attention
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As
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society develops, many parents have reduced their
time
Use synonyms
 with their
children
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, which results in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 increasing amount of mental dissatisfaction among the kids compared to the past. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
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 statement.
This
Linking Words
 essay attempts to give out evidence
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 proves my viewpoint.
As a result
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 of enormous amounts of full-
time
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 work, the quantity of
time
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 spent by parents with their family is believed to restrict. Being an adult means being responsible for immeasurable pressures in daily life,
for example
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: life maintenance, adapting their expectations,...
Moreover
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, some adults decide to pick up overtime work in order to receive more salaries.
Therefore
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, entertaining
time
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 with their
children
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 becomes secondary important, which leads to the
insud
Correct your spelling
insured
 of attention and affection among the younger in the family.
In addition
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, the development of technology has an impact on the current situation. Even though the media insists that the latest communication network enhances the bond of family,
reality
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the reality
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 is proving the opposite circumstance.
For instance
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, some grown individuals use social media or technology devices in order to distract
children
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 while they focus on their usual chores.
This
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 case is not necessarily negative,
however
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, it can cause unpredictable consequences
such
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 as pathological internet use or dispersing relative connection. To conclude,
although
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 the insufficient amount of
time
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 spent on
children
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 is inevitable, it is crucial for adults and society to come up with a proper solution. Not only does
this
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 case affect family relationships in the present, but it
also
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 results in negative effects in the future.
Submitted by thumai2905 on

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