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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend
There has been an issue revolving around whether new
technologies
 changed the way
children
 positively spend their free time. Some people say that there are more advantages than disadvantages in
children
’s usage of new technology. Others believe that negative impact is stronger than positive. In
this
 essay, I will explain why I believe that advantages do not outweigh disadvantages. First and foremost, new
technologies
 have a potential negative impact on physical health. One of the most disturbing factors is damage to the brain that can be caused by technology,
such
 as computers.
This
 can decrease productivity and lead to dissocializing, time-wasting and sleep problems. It is recommended not to have any wireless communication devices that spread radiofrequency waves because they can affect
children
’s health.
Secondly
, new
technologies
 give concerns that involve the exposure to inappropriate or harmful
content
. Even though, the Internet is a very powerful place, where a lot of educational
content
, using the Internet can give risk of bullying, showing
content
that is
 not suitable for
children
 and underage
children
 predators. Parents should navigate the
content
 that their
children
 watch and ensure a safer digital environment.
On the other hand
, new
technologies
 give more opportunities to learn new skills and give a way for education.
Children
 learning from a young age can easily learn new language or other skills. New
technologies
 allow
children
 to explore new subjects that reach
further
 than traditional learning materials. Having considered both views, the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. In my opinion,
children
 should be able to use computers and other
technologies
 only for learning purposes. Every other time, new
technologies
 are harmful to
children
 not only because of physical concerns but
also
 for mental health and social skills.
Submitted by oimigle on

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task response
Ensure that the essay remains focused on addressing the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and try to maintain a balanced discussion throughout.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical progression of ideas, making sure that each paragraph clearly follows from the one before. Use cohesive devices appropriately to indicate the relationships between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples to support your points, ensuring that your argument is persuasive and robust. Examples should be directly related to the main ideas you are discussing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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