Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is mostly argued that gaining to
success
is straightly connected with
such
type of factors
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
hard
work
and
determination
by some sort of community.
However
, others think
on the contrary
way that there are other things
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
more essential like money and personal appearance.
This
essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion below as well. On the one hand, hard
work
and
determination
are exactly the most key factors to achieve incredibly fortune in our existing world. Because it is clear that, without having strong discipline, hard
work
it is almost impossible to make our dreams come true.
In addition
, one of the most famous entrepreneurs like Elon Musk
further
always give the same
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
to youngsters.
For example
: in his
last
interview
Add a comma
,interview
show examples
he said that I have gained
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
huge
success
of course by having
determination
and
every day
Correct your spelling
everyday
show examples
hard
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
although
determination
and hard
work
are the most important things to gain something, there are other factors too, to help people gain to their dreams. So, holding only money or having
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
show examples
body and face
furthermore
can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
type of public gaining
success
in their lives. Because not all of
works
Add an article
the works
show examples
connected
Add a missing verb
are connected
show examples
with
particular
Correct article usage
the particular
show examples
skills
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned above.
For instance
, models which advertise clothes that own
good-looking
Correct article usage
a good-looking
show examples
appearance or nice body can have fame without a big deal. In my opinion, the
first mentioned
Add a hyphen
first-mentioned
show examples
skills are really necessary like hard
work
and
determination
but without having them it can be achieved
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
big
success
.
Submitted by abdullayev2000ulugbek on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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