IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Air pollution is a growing issue in many cities around the world. What are the main causes of air pollution, and what effects does it have on individuals and the environment?

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These days, many metropolitan areas are suffering from
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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 globally. Loss of green spaces and engine cars on
roads
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 may encourage environmental concerns, potentially leading to health-related issues for people and global warming as a whole. Currently, deforestation can be the main disaster that forces
air
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pollution
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 to arise quickly, particularly in cities. Many developing cities usually focus on building construction to provide better facilities and houses for living through the destruction of gardens and green spots in search of appropriate land, leading to a significant increase in
air
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pollution
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, vehicles on
roads
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 are
also
Linking Words
 responsible for that critical situation as
raising
Verb problem
apply
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the number of companies which produce cars
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing, filling the
roads
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 by highly involving traffic jams and generating vehicle emissions.
This
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 results in excessive harm to the
environment
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. Environmental problems may be driven by those aforementioned influencers. Unless
such
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 constructions continue to
build
Wrong verb form
be built
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 and unlimited cars are active on
roads
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, health-related concerns among people and global warming remain commonplace in every corner of the world. Healthy lifestyles often require a good
environment
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. If the
environment
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 is badly damaged, some diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as hypoxia and mental disorders, can
be escalated
Wrong verb form
escalate
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, resulting in death or a paralyzing situation
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
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 the end. Global warming can be another main effect of
air
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pollution
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.
Pollution
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 worsens the
air
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 and impacts the tearing down of the ozone layer, making the sunlight easy to reach.
As a result
Linking Words
, the way of living of every organism should be changed, affecting badly the
environment
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. In conclusion, loss of green spots and ever-increasing construction may worsen the situation of the
environment
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 and health issues, and global warming can emerge
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your writing by clearly separating different points into distinct paragraphs. This can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
It would be beneficial to add more specific examples or data to support your points, particularly when discussing the effects of air pollution.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the topic, addressing both causes and effects of air pollution.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical connections between ideas are generally clear, and the essay flows well from one point to the next.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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