Some people think it is more important to plant trees in open areas of towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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As modernization and civilization have been processed,
people
Use synonyms
need more houses and buildings. In response to these needs, a lot of housing is built at the moment.
However
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, the positive effects of planting
trees
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in open areas of
towns
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and
cities
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outweigh the benefits of building more housing. First of all, I believe that
plants
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can relieve the stress of residents in
cities
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and
towns
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. A lot of
people
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feel stressed and frustrated in the
city
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which is packed with high-rise buildings.
Also
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,
people
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are likely to have a sedentary lifestyle nowadays.
However
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, green areas with
plants
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give residents time to escape from complex
city
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life and give
places
Correct pronoun usage
them places
show examples
to move their bodies.
For instance
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, Han River
parks
Capitalize word
Parks
show examples
and Seoul Forest
parks
Capitalize word
Parks
show examples
are always crowded with
people
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who want to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
picnic
Fix the agreement mistake
picnics
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and get close to the natural environment.
This
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is why it is necessary to plant
trees
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in the
city
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and villages. Another reason is that green
plants
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can function as air purifiers in the
city
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, sufficient
plants
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can purify bad air by absorbing carbon dioxide and giving us fresh oxygen. The
towns
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where many
people
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live are filled with bad air coming from cars and factories.
Thus
Linking Words
, planting
trees
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in open areas of
towns
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and
cities
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more important and required than building more housing.
To sum up
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, I reckon the value of planting
trees
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
bigger than building more housing in
cities
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and
towns
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because the benefits brought from
plants
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are very huge.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly states your position; however, it could be strengthened by better outlining the main points that you will discuss in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that indicates its main idea. While you have generally done this, some ideas could be more clearly linked to your overall argument.
Task Response
You have provided some specific examples to support your points, which enhances your argument. For a higher score, consider adding more detailed examples or statistics to elaborate further on the benefits of planting trees.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear opinion regarding the importance of planting trees over building more housing, demonstrating a strong viewpoint.
Task Response
You provided relevant examples, such as Han River parks and Seoul Forest parks, to illustrate your points, which added depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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