IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workplace #females #males
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Companies often prefer to hire the same amount of
employees
 from both sexes. I completely disagree with the statement, and I think that keeping an equal
number
 of male & female
workers
 impacts badly on the development of a
company
. First of all, the Policy of identical quantity of genders puts a question mark on the selection system of a
company
. To maintain the similar ratio of men and women it is often found that the qualification of a qualified candidate is overlooked.
This
 results in hiring less suitable labour, which creates an adverse effect on the development of a
company
.
Moreover
, because of underqualified
workers
Add a comma
workers,
show examples
 the
overall
 environment of the office loses its colour and joy.
For example
, selecting the wrong candidate makes discrimination between
employees
, as both have differences in qualifications but receive the same Salary.
Secondly
, sometimes extra
employees
 are hired, to keep the similarity in the
number
 of males and females.
This
 is a direct loss for the
company
. Even if the same work can be performed by a smaller
number
 of
workers
 to match the counterparts additional
employees
 are recruited.
Furthermore
,
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
 jobs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 only suitable for a particular gender, there inclusion of other genders does not make any positive result.
For instance
, food delivery. Jobs are suitable only for males, but companies are hiring female candidates for food delivery which is slowing down the
overall
 delivery process of food, because of
such
 Jobs physical fitness plays a vital role.
To conclude
, I strongly disagree with the tendency of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
number
 of male and female
workers
 in the office because it creates doubt over the recruitment process and extra cost for the
company
Submitted by mokaddamul on

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task achievement
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coherence and cohesion
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task achievement
You articulated a strong, clear position throughout the essay, which aligns well with the task response criteria.
coherence and cohesion
You successfully maintained a logical and easy-to-follow structure, enhancing the essay's coherence.
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