Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Several representatives of contemporary society deem that various achievements are reached by intensive and hard work

whereas

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others argue with

this

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position and claim that riches and appearance play an essential part in human life. From my perspective, it can not be denied that these statements are composed of a fraction of the truth.

Therefore

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, I am going to reflect on

this

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essay my own view of

such

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an issue and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

provide strong arguments, which confirm my core opinion. On the one hand, being hardworking is a beneficial quality of a personality.

Moreover

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, owing to intensive work or study a person can reach a plethora of achievements.

For instance

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, if a juvenile

will spend

Wrong verb form

spends

show examples

a lot of time

Change preposition

show examples

the learning process, he can enrol in a desirable university or win a scholarship, which provides him with the possibility to get a valuable education.

Likewise

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, if an employee

will work

Wrong verb form

works

show examples

with enthusiasm,

participate

Correct subject-verb agreement

participates

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in various business meetings,

Correct word choice

and receive

show examples

receive

Correct subject-verb agreement

receives

show examples

multiple awards, he can climb the career ladder extremely fast.

Hence

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, his accomplishment is achieved by means of his

hardworking

Correct word choice

hard work

show examples

and desire to be more than an ordinary employee. From my point of view, the listed above arguments reflect immensely the notion of success.

On the other hand

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, several people allege that a successful person is a person with wealth or an attractive appearance.

Furthermore

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, they contend that

hardworking

Correct word choice

hard work

show examples

does not exert a substantial impact on fortune. As far as I am concerned, one of the main reasons why they claim

such

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consists of envy. Indeed, the vast majority of the population contemplate that famous people, who reach a plethora of breakthroughs throughout their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, do not

extremely

Rephrase

apply

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labour.

However

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, it would be unfair

not to mention

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the fact that numerous opulent people have been working a lot in order to become wealthy and famous.

Besides

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, it is difficult to create an outstanding composition or performance and actors and singers make an effort to glorify themselves.

Also

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noteworthy

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that

Add a missing verb

is that

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is right that money and attraction exert a significant influence.

Nevertheless

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, success can not exist without perseverance and diligence.

Consequently

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, a human, who wants to be wealthy, should endeavour hard.

To sum up

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, I would stress that having made these points, it is true that

such

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a tendency incurs criticism.

Nonetheless

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, only persons must decide

upon

Change preposition

apply

show examples

for themselves, what

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

success

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

for them. In my opinion, if riches are used for the right purposes, their benefits outweigh their drawbacks undoubtedly.

sunsistem123

Jan 23, 2022

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the essay prompt and provides clear and comprehensive ideas.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of lexical resources to improve the quality of your writing.

grammatical range

Use a wider range of sentence structures and more complex grammatical forms to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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19
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

409 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multifaceted
determination
humble beginnings
long-term goals
influential networks
public image
societal standards
amplify opportunities
foundational
crucial
exemplifying

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.