IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis . Other people believe that world population increase is necessary, and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society . Discuss both these views and give your opinion .

#people #world #population #crisis #growth #economy #society
It is said that rapid growth of population is unmanageable which
consequently
 leads to universal disasters,whilst, other groups of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
show examples
 believe that rise in population is essential for the development of the country. In my opinion , it is important to pay attention to the expansion of the community . Commencing with, natural resources are limited and with rising in populace static deposits are depleting day-by-day.
As a result
 of which government is unable to feed its society with an adequate amount of food required for survival.
for instance
 , demands for vegetables, fruits , grains and other nutritious meals are boosting but it is not getting fulfilled in over-populated
countries
 .
Furthermore
 , in
this
 period of inflation children are being forced to work at an early age to fight poverty which gives a hike to illiterate people in the country . Illiteracy combined with poverty results in criminal activities that generate hurdles for nation growth .
On the other hand
, an array of societies believes that several developed and low-population
countries
 are demanding a more skilled workforce. For achieving their goals ,
countries
 are in need of labour forces. Many
countries
 are unable to reach their economic potential due to a lack of skilled persons.
Thus
, an increasing population can solve the problem of these
countries
,
however
, I believe that it results in high demand for unlimited resources. To exemplify,
countries
 like Canada allow immigration for fulfilling the demand of the workforce and allow people to work in that country. To conclude, while certain areas of the world are in need of larger workforces to develop their economics ,the continually increasing public could potentially lead to a crisis within
countries
 that already struggle to provide their inhabitants.
Submitted by ritu1508.dcsa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: