Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.
The tolerance and sharing. It helps to reduce
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
crime
rate is increasing in many countries among adolescents. Crime
is one of the main subject
that we Change to a plural noun
subjects
worried
about. Add a missing verb
are worried
This
origins of Correct determiner usage
The
this
situation seem to stem from two factors, with several remedies appear
to be open to us. Perhaps the major factor is related to Wrong verb form
appearing
unemployment
rate of young adults. Jobless Add an article
an unemployment
the unemployment
people
may become involved in crime
us
Correct your spelling
as
means
to get Correct article usage
a means
money
. A study has confirmed that at least 60% of young criminals are unemployed. If they had enough money
to buy daily need
things, they would not commit a Verb problem
apply
crime
. Second
cause may be Add an article
The second
safe
storage of Correct article usage
the safe
gun
in Fix the agreement mistake
guns
home
. Nowadays, Many families keep a Add an article
the home
gun
their
Change preposition
in their
house
.It increases Fix the agreement mistake
houses
risk
of unintentional and mass Add an article
the risk
school
shootings. Last
example is Change the article
The last
school
shooting Add an article
a school
the school
in
OxfordChange preposition
at
high
Correct your spelling
High School
school
, 15 years old boy, who
killed seven students Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
Change preposition
with
father’s
handgun. The Correct pronoun usage
his father’s
gun
is unlocked at home. Third
factor may be Change the article
The third
drop
out of Wrong verb form
dropping
school
. Schools aim to teach young people
moral values such
Change preposition
as
crime
commit
. Turning to possible solutions , the biggest step would be Change the form of the verb
committed
provide
vocational Fix the infinitive
to provide
course
and retraining for young Fix the agreement mistake
courses
people
who have no job. It may be prevent
Change the verb form
prevent
crime
Add an article
the crime
a crime
of
Correct your spelling
or
problem
of Fix the agreement mistake
problems
money
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Furthermore
, If you decide to keep guns in your home, be aware that many studies show that teaching children about gun
safety and use. It is not enough to
that, Change preposition
apply
government
need Add an article
the government
control
Fix the infinitive
to control
gun
law. In conclusion, It appears to
be main causes of Change preposition
that
adolescents
Change the noun form
adolescent
crime
is
lack of work, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
gun’s
safety use and education. Governments, Change noun form
gun
parents
should encourage their young Correct word choice
and parents
people
to educate
. Education gives Wrong verb form
be educated
people
knowledge and skills. They can earn enough money
to live happily with their job.Submitted by alexstudyin on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite