IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.

The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.
The two given tables provide the data related to the main reasons for choosing to stop smoking and the possible time when
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smokers will be ready to end
this
Linking Words
 habit.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is seen from the first
table
Use synonyms
 that the most prominent cause of
people
Use synonyms
's desire to give up smoking is to generally enhance their health condition,
while
Linking Words
 the
second
Linking Words
table
Use synonyms
 shows that most
people
Use synonyms
 are willing to quit smoking within the
next
Linking Words
 six months. Regarding the data included in the first
table
Use synonyms
, the most widespread cause for ending with smoking, namely improving health accounts for 71% in total,
whereas
Linking Words
 the percentage figure of the
second
Linking Words
 most popular reason to quit
this
Linking Words
 habit, namely the financial considerations of
people
Use synonyms
 is more than two times lower than the first-mentioned reason, constituting totally only 31%. Turning to the
second
Linking Words
table
Use synonyms
, it is represented that more than one-
third
Linking Words
 of all respondents are going to give up smoking in the
next
Linking Words
 six months, showing the percentage rate that accounts for 35% of total answers. Meanwhile, the corresponding figure amounted to 71% of
people
Use synonyms
 who commented on their choice to start their new life without smoking.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, second".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words table, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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