IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

While
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 some individuals argue that global warming has a significant impact on our planet at the moment, others believe that
deforestation
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 is a more serious environmental problem around the world.
This
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 essay will discuss the ideas for both opinions and I strive to express my own views, as well. On the one hand, the increasing concentration of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases results in global warming.
Thus
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,
this
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 causes global temperatures to rise. Rising temperature influences on melting of the polar ice.
As a result
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, water levels in oceans and seas will change. That's to say flooding will become more common.
For example
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, The National Geographic channel reports that Greenland ice melting will cause 100 million people to be flooded each year by the end of the century.
On the other hand
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, to both expand the population's residential areas and build new main roads enormous areas of forest are being cut down.
Deforestation
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 destroys the natural homes of
animals
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 and their wildlife habitats. When forests are destroyed, many
animals
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 lose their homes and may die or become endangered.
Moreover
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,
this
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 led to the extinction of many species of
animals
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 and plants.
For instance
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, the destruction of just one-tenth of the tropical forests on the South American continent has threatened the lives of 92 species of plants and
animals
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. both
deforestation
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 and loss of biodiversity must be warning signals for everyone to protect our environment. In conclusion, from my point of view, all environmental problems should be considered serious. It is necessary to approach the problem of global warming or
deforestation
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 with caution.

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed to demonstrate how they relate to the overall discussion. You might expand on the implications of global warming and deforestation to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make transitions smoother.
positive
Your introduction clearly outlines the two sides of the argument, setting a clear direction for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Greenhouse effect
  • Industrial emissions
  • Sea levels
  • Extreme weather events
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon emissions
  • Renewable energy
  • Paris Climate Accord
  • Carbon cycle
  • Soil erosion
  • Water cycles
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Reforestation
  • Sustainable forest management
  • Indigenous communities
  • Localized impacts
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