The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
The population is divided in two old,
people
think that youngsters should behave in a traditional manner. Nonetheless
, some others think that it would be not helpful to prepare the next generation for the future. This
essay totally agrees with the idea that young people
should live, think and behave in a traditional way. I believe that parents should educate their children a bit the hard way on different points. Also
in traditional education
, there is generally the religion that is
also
important.
Firstly
, parents should do a little education
the hard way for them to be respectful of their elders. If a child is raised in a house where he can do whatever he wants, in the future he is going to be really lost because no one told him that he cannot do this
or that. Generally, if a child has learned to listen and respect
a person who needs more respect
he will fit very well into society, in the world of business. For example
, a survey shows that more than 80% of people
who were raised with a traditional education
are accepted into a job. Also
, this
type of education
helps show the meaning of a family, that it is very important to take care of them and enjoy their presence.
Secondly
, in traditional education
, religion is generally very important. Because it shows the values of life and wisdom, It morally disciplines souls and thus
preserves social stability. It can provide a moral, ethical and cultural framework. Also
, it gives a sense of community, like I said before about the family, to share, and respect
the people
who are here for us. Equally, it develops a sense of charity, to give to other people
, to help them.
To conclude
, being raised in a traditional manner can bring us much: humanity, respect
, wisdom, and discipline, among many other things.Submitted by santos_dij on
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Introduction
The essay could benefit from a more specific and balanced introduction, presenting both views on tradition and modern life's demands. A thesis statement clearly outlining the writer's position would also strengthen the introduction.
Coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas. Also, paragraphs should have clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that develop the main points effectively.
Examples
Ideas in the essay were not fully developed or illustrated with specific and convincing examples. Further elaboration on points and inclusion of factual, relevant examples would significantly enhance the response.
Task Response
Make sure to address the topic from multiple angles to fully respond to the question. The essay shows a tendency to agree without considering opposing viewpoints or discussing the topic's implications for modern life.