IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fewer people today visit museums than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future?

#people #visit #museums #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are fewer visitors to
museums
Use synonyms
 than there were in the past. I believe the endless stream of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is the principal cause of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. To increase visitor numbers,
museums
Use synonyms
 should promote their collections online. There is a wide choice of
entertainment
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
. In the pre-
Internet
Use synonyms
 era, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 could do at home in their free time, so visiting
museums
Use synonyms
 became one of their major leisure activities.
However
Linking Words
, now with the
Internet
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 are able to have
entertainment
Use synonyms
 at their fingertips.
For example
Linking Words
, they can just sit at home watching Game of Thrones on Netflix.
This
Linking Words
 is much easier than going to visit
museums
Use synonyms
, which leads to a decline in their popularity. To increase attendance,
museums
Use synonyms
 should promote their collections on the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 today tend to spend a large amount of time online, and
thus
Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
 should produce content that tells the stories behind their exhibits and publish it on the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the National Gallery can make some Youtube videos about how and why Vincent van Gogh created his famous paintings of sunflowers. Since stories easily resonate with
people
Use synonyms
, telling them a work of art’s story could inspire them to visit a gallery to see it firsthand. In conclusion, the main reason for the decline in the number of visitors to
museums
Use synonyms
 is the endless
entertainment
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
museums
Use synonyms
 should take advantage of the
Internet
Use synonyms
 and create online content to publicize their works.
Submitted by boon.aksornukul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: