Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Whether
children
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shoube
Correct your spelling
should

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be
encouranged
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encouraged

The word encouranged is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

to have
a
Change the article
the

It appears that the phrase a best meal plan does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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best meal plan at
school
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a matter of debate. Some people think that
school
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can provide
children
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an
Add the preposition
with an

It appears that you are missing a preposition with the verb provide. Consider adding the preposition.

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ideal
diet
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while others claim that
parents
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should instruct their offspring to have a healthy
diet
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. My essay is going to discuss both views of
this
Linking Words

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issue. It is true that not only does
school
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is the best educational environment but it
also
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heightens
children
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's awareness about nutrition. Educators are under
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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rigorous training about
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients

It seems that nutrient may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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so that they can give
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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vital nutritional information as well as guide them to choose the food which is good for their health.
Furthermore
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, most boarding
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school
Change to a plural noun
schools

The singular countable noun school follows the quantifier most, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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have their own dieticians in order to adjust and provide
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

ideal meals on a daily
basic
Replace the word
basis

The word basic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
school
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exerts a positive impact on
children
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's health in general and
also
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contributes to
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing

The verb decrease may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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the rate of obesity in
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in particular
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.
However
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, undeniably,
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

play a vital role in their offspring's
diet
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. Beyond
school
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time,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun children in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spend almost their time with
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
homefood
Correct your spelling
home food

The word homefood is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

accounts for a large number
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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total food,
consuming
Replace the word
consumption

The word consuming doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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by
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can make a healthy meal plan
depend
Wrong verb form
depending

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb depend. Consider changing it.

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on their child's favourite and modify it in a flexible way to stimulate the appetite of
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both
school
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct your spelling
ability
abitlity
Correct article usage
the abitlity

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to incentivize
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to have a healthy
diet
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A child will have a good health state if
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
school
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

take responsibility for planning the nutritious meal together.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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