Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #children #diet #school #parents

Whether

children

shoube

Correct your spelling

should

encouranged

Correct your spelling

encouraged

to have

Change the article

the

show examples

best meal plan at

school

is a matter of debate. Some people think that

school

can provide

children

Add the preposition

with an

show examples

ideal

diet

while others claim that

parents

should instruct their offspring to have a healthy

diet

. My essay is going to discuss both views of

this

issue. It is true that not only does

school

is the best educational environment but it

also

heightens

children

's awareness about nutrition. Educators are under

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rigorous training about

nutrient

Fix the agreement mistake

nutrients

show examples

so that they can give

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

vital nutritional information as well as guide them to choose the food which is good for their health.

Furthermore

, most boarding

school

Change to a plural noun

schools

show examples

have their own dieticians in order to adjust and provide

children

ideal meals on a daily

basic

Replace the word

basis

show examples

As a result

school

exerts a positive impact on

children

's health in general and

also

contributes to

decrease

Change the verb form

decreasing

show examples

the rate of obesity in

children

in particular

However

, undeniably,

parents

play a vital role in their offspring's

diet

. Beyond

school

time,

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

children

spend almost their time with

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

Thus

homefood

Correct your spelling

home food

accounts for a large number

Change preposition

show examples

total food,

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

children

In addition

this

parents

can make a healthy meal plan

depend

Wrong verb form

depending

show examples

on their child's favourite and modify it in a flexible way to stimulate the appetite of

children

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both

school

and

parents

have

Correct your spelling

ability

abitlity

Correct article usage

the abitlity

show examples

to incentivize

children

to have a healthy

diet

. A child will have a good health state if

parents

and

school

take responsibility for planning the nutritious meal together.

Submitted by linhkeobongthoi on Mon Jan 24 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sports celebrities.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for government to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of the waste?

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.