IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for one's health. VinMec’s top management must find a way to reduce this type of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#hours #stress #health #vinmec’s #management #type
Medial staffs, who are not only in Vinmec Hospital but
also
 in all other
hospital
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hospitals
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 in the world, always all face
to
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apply
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stress
 in the workplace,
therefore
, I agree with the statement that VinMec's top managers need to help their
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 by finding a way to reduce
stress
 after
long
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a long
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 time working at the hospital because of two reasons.
First
 and foremost, when doctors or nurses
works
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work
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 long hours in
stressful
Add an article
a stressful
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 environment, most of them would lower their working ability
as a result
 of being tired and feeling
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
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. We can not do
by
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apply
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our best when we are not in the best state of our health.
For example
, after a long and difficult surgery, the only thing I want is rest and relaxation, which helps me to recover my energy, concentration, and, interest in working. I can not focus on my work if I lack
of
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apply
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sleep or feel not well.
Stress
 will reduce everyone's working ability. The
second
 reason is that when a medical staff gets
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
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, his/her negative feelings will transfer to patients, who need positive feelings to struggle to illness and recover their health.
This
 will affect to
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of medical care in the hospital.
For instance
, my friend Nang Vo had an urgent
6 hour
Add a hyphen
6-hour
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 lasted-surgery at night two weeks before,
however
, he still worked in the outpatient department
in
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apply
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the
next
 day. When a patient needed to ask some questions more about his disease
although
 he had explained
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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 him for 30 minutes, he felt crazy and say
loud
Correct your spelling
aloud
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 to the patient. The consequence of
this
 is the patient went to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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 hospital but
not
Add a missing verb
did not
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 keep treating in our hospital.
Hospital
Correct article usage
The hospital
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 environment should be
the
Correct article usage
a
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 place where
envolve
Correct your spelling
involve
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 feelings. In conclusion, I definitely agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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stress
 will be reduced as much as possible in the hospital setting and managers of Vinmec hospital should find a way to do
this
 because of
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 reasons
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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presented above.
Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on

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