IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #dessert #antarctic #visit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are two types of people. The first type
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is people who want only to travel to an ordinary place and have a good time.
However
Linking Words
, the other type is people who want to travel to extraordinary areas to explore more. Recently, a variety range of individuals have been visiting areas with harsh weather conditions. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate on the pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
 argument. On the one hand, there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of mysterious places which have not been discovered yet. a wide range of individuals have a venturing spirit. They believe that they are able to explore more.
In addition
Linking Words
, they want to exploit the technology to document their journey or find a hidden city.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some of them believe in myths and want to find a hidden treasure or to detect a new creature.
For instance
Linking Words
, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of explorers are trying to find the Atlantic City. They believe that it is behind the mountains of Antarctica. They assume that it is the most advanced civilisation. On the other hand, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of risks will be found during
this
Linking Words
 journey.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most travellers are not aware of the plants. They can touch or eat any of it and it can be poisoned.
Second,
Linking Words
they are not navigators,
thus
Linking Words
 they can get lost.
For example
Linking Words
, a diverse range of individuals is lost
due to
Linking Words
 the hiking mountains in Peru.
Lastly
Linking Words
, they are not aware of the weather or the impediments in these areas.
For instance
Linking Words
, every year a
lot
Use synonyms
 of enterprises die
due to
Linking Words
 the rough weather in Antarctica. They can not cope with
this
Linking Words
 freezing area. In conclusion, we should be aware of our lives. We should study the place that we are going to visit.
This
Linking Words
 can alleviate any obstacles and make us more safe.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Develop the ideas more deeply with clearer explanations and more detailed examples to support your points.
task achievement
Good attempt at addressing both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting places with harsh conditions.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: