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Some people feel that schools should be mixed with both girls and boys attending while others feel the gender ought to be separated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #schools #girls #boys #gender
concerning education, the opinion is divided on whether or not there should be single-sex or combined-gender learning institutions.
While
 some people argue that having segregated male and female school aid faster learning, I believe that unisex university has greater benefits in a child's academics.
This
 essay shall discuss both views in detail followed by a reasoned conclusion Some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 seem to hold the belief that having a gender-based educational system creates room for
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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students to concentrate more on their studies. The reason for
this
 is that, without the influence of the opposite sex especially in teenage life, there is reduced time to have relationships and major distractions that come with it.
For example
, going on a date, nightclubbing, parties, having unprotected sex, unwanted pregnancies and the use of hard drugs are among problems frequently encountered during adolescence which would
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
show examples
 if the other gender was not within reach.
Hence
 making it easier for the student to study. Even though there are compelling reasons highlighted above
however
 there is no denying the fact that socialization and integration are essential components in the development of pupils.
Therefore
 having a universal school
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it possible for interacting and learning from opposite sexuality. Evidently, it has been shown that males who attended separate schools grew up to be shy and awkward around females because they lacked the
relation
Replace the word
relationships
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 that ought to have been developed long ago.
furthermore
, having a mixed learning centre
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
room for competition for academic excellence and mutual respect between boys and girls
Correct pronoun usage
who thriving
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thriving
Verb problem
striving
show examples
 to be the best. In conclusion,
although
 the major idea of having a separate gender school is to enhance learning, comprehensive schools
also
 offer
this
 and make it possible for different
sex
Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
show examples
 to share ideas and get along.
Submitted by joshuaosarenmwinda on

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task response
The introduction and conclusion are mentioned but need to be developed further to provide a clearer overview of the essay. Weak use of examples to support ideas. Lack of development and detail in addressing the task. Need to provide a balanced view of both perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
There is an attempt to use cohesive devices, but they are not used effectively. Paragraphs need clearer development and organization. Sentences are not well linked, resulting in choppy and disjointed writing. The connection between ideas within and between paragraphs needs improvement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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