In Many countries in the world,people buy clothes andchoose hairstyles according to the latest fashion.why is this happening?Is this a positive or negative development?

5.0 / 9

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Introduction

People are always eager to know about the lifestyle trends all around the globe.The upcoming designer fabrics and hairstyles are very important for society and they give much importance to the new swings happening in

this

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area.The majority of the crowd consider

this

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as a positive sign

on the other hand

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side,there are people who argue

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as a negative sign as well.In

this

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essay, I would like to analyse the factors causing

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craze and state my opinion with relevant examples.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

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technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

advancement causes development in all sectors ,particularly in the textile industry and in saloons.Compared to previous decades the options available for these areas

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

shown a gradual increase and

this

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tendency is

due to

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the demand .

For example

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,the number of boutiques and haircut centres now available in the cities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

countless.

Secondly

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,the attitude of people towards life has changed,when we consider the past few decades society gives more importance to the way they look and they

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

to be more attractive as well.So

this

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mode eventually demands more improvement in the styles and hairdo sectors.

Body paragraph 2

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Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, these changes can be counted as a positive development

as well as

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negative too,since giving more priority to the trend and hairdo may affect the financial stability of the common man.

For instance

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,youngsters are more attracted towards fashion and in order to meet their

wish

Fix the agreement mistake

wishes

show examples

, they will do any type of work,sometimes become anti-social work as well.Following the latest styles will help the crowd to be more confident and they feel self-esteemed as well which is an advantage of

this

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trend.

Conclusion

To conclude

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following the upcoming fashion trends and arranging the hair

according to

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that is

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increasingly popular nowadays

due to

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the attitude changes happening in the world.Even though

this

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can be considered

Change preposition

from

show examples

two angles both as positive and negative changes ,it purely depends on person to person and the circumstances in which they live.

amitha13489

Jan 25, 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that previews the main points of your essay. It is important to clearly state your position and approach in the introduction.

Task Achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that supports your main argument. Develop your ideas with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your points.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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In Many countries in the world,people buy clothes andchoose hairstyles according to the latest fashion.why is this happening?Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should changed be regarded as something positive?

In modern society , there has been a major concern that many couple have delayed parenthood. Some explanations for this social trend will be put forward before an analysis of its impacts on society and family life is given.Advantage and disadvantage this trend?

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today.in the interest of the public health ,governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products.do you agree or disagree?